Four ice creams and a funeral

Friday night after getting home I got my stuff together to go on my weekend outing to Las America´s to my Dona´s middle son´s house, Leonardo, where he lives with his son, Leonardo. We had dinner and they came and picked us up around eight thirty ish. I sat in the backseat wondering if this really was a weekend of courtship as I listened to Spanish love ballads in the back seat with Angelo drooling on my arm, deep in slumber (I am happy to report it didn´t turn out that way). We got to their apartment half hour later in Las Americas, which is a neighborhood by the airport. It is a new apartment complex, his place is a three bedroom apt. on the third floor of the complex. So there is a very nice breeze coming through it, and it is relatively quiet compared to Pantoja.

The Dona let me sleep in the room she normally sleeps in which was very nice. When I got up in the morning she told me that her sister-in-law had passed away after a struggle with bone cancer. She hadn´t been doing so well the last week, and did not make it through the weekend.

So we cut the weekend short and went back to attend the funeral and be with family. Of course that was after she cleaned her son´s house, cooked breakfast and lunch, and proceeded to do all his laundry- so we actually left around 1 PM or so.

Before I get to that I had breakfast this morning and have been getting more and more meat in the morning. You all, or well, most of you know how I feel about ground beef! I think it is one of the meats I can´t bring myself to eat. So I had a tamale of sorts made with plantain and ground beef with a side of sausage (which I found it is turkey sausage, awesome!). I talked to my Dona explained to her that the plaintain is good but I´ve never really had beef before, and at home I just don´t prepare meat for myself and am really not used to eating so much. I reached my meat limit at that point and she totally understood and was like, ok, so do you like goat then? But I think we got it clear that Í´m fine with chicken, pescado (fish, but there is also bacalao, which is this very fishy tasting dried fish that is rehydrated and added to stuff-- not my favorite), and I am sure the turkey sausage. So for lunch we had a really tasty pescado with coconut milk that was fresh from the market (the place is right by the sea).

We then headed back into town, changed and walked to Los Alcarizzos to go to the funeral. Funerals are a bit less formal here, and people just pretty much stick to anything that is not bright. There was a lot of black and white, but also a lot of jeans and t-shirts. The service literally happens (in most cases) in the same day. Perhaps in this case they knew it was coming, so maybe that is not always the case. The church was packed to the brim, with people spilling out of the back and sides while the ceremony proceeded. It was somber yet there was a lot of singing, reflection and prayer until they brought her coffin down the aisle, and my family (who were here close relatives) were all crying as she was put into the hearse. It was very humbling and I never felt awkward not having known her, because here they really do take you in as family and are so welcoming.

We went in front of the funeral home with the family and sat on the side of the street in plastic chairs. Here you do a lot of hanging out together, which involves a lot of just sitting together. On the porch, on the street, and not necessarily talking. If it were eight days ago I would have felt awkward not having conversation while sitting there. But this was comfortable silence when there was silence. After awhile I declared I wanted ice cream. Melissa sent her boyfriend to come with me to get it.

We walk across the street and into the shop. I pick up an ice cream and then remember about the sharing aspect of Dominican culture. Everyone shares. If you have a coke, and your at a table with four people- be prepared to only have a portion of your coke, because everything is shared no matter the amount you have. So I pick out an ice cream and ask if he thinks that Melissa wants one. He goes, yes of course, get her one. I pick out another ice cream and he goes, two? Your only getting two? So I am thinking I should get three then, one for mom. Then he asks, wait, just three? And I am like, there are ten people out there- how many ice creams am I supposed to get! I end up getting four- one for him, too. Now I know about the sharing, but am not sure how standard it is that he expected me to also buy him an ice cream as well, or not. Well we go outside and I had them out and the Dona gave the rest of the people out there her´s to share which she didn´t want. Everyone had a bite. I´ll end this with saying that I like the idea that everyone here automatically shares. Angelo is literally always offering everyone his soda, or whatever it is he is eating, etc, its endearing and an all inclusive type thing which I like.